shadow-schemer:

Sometimes Ardyn forgets he’s immortal

And he’s the Imperial Chancellor. He’s got to have LOADS of enemies.

There’s got to be assassination attempts. That always fail.

One foggy night in the speakeasy districts a sniper tags Ardyn in the head (and through his hat).

And Ardyn is like, “Oh I got shot. I should lay down and pretend to be dead. But in this gross dingy street where no one can see?!”

So he does a hardly discreet wobble, cries “Oh~! I’ve been shot~!” and flops on the sidewalk in front of one passerby.

The assassin is all “wtf was that”

alley-cat-sunflower:

so… you know how Ardyn claims that only mortals feel pain, and doesn’t react to Shiva’s cold or the party’s attacks? not to mention his absolute calm when he finally dies in the corporeal realm? well, I have this headcanon that he just… can’t feel anything anymore, physically. the Starscourge never took him over or turned him into a daemon, but its effects on him are just as devastating. he’s been living the last who knows how many centuries or even millennia pretty much numb, or near to it.

and yeah, he got used to it, maybe even took some degree of pride in his lack of natural limitations. he’d always been resilient, even as an ordinary man, but once he stopped experiencing pain, nothing could stop him anymore… and, since he was also unable to feel the more pleasant range of sensations, nothing could distract him from his spite either. he probably came to see it as an emblem of his uniqueness, something that sets him apart from everyone else more tangibly than just his brilliance.

the thing is, to delve more into conjecture, Ardyn’s numbness is a result of the Starscourge, which the Oracle is meant to cure. so after Luna touches his arm, based on the way he looks at his hand afterwards, it is my theory that—as Oracle and designated healer of the age—her humanity interacts with the remnants of his humanity, temporarily nullifying the Starscourge and all its effects. when she touches him, I think he actually feels it.

and, if the fury in his eyes and the scorn in his bearing is any indication, Ardyn hates that. he can’t stand Luna’s reminder that he was once human, much less her implication that he could ever be human again, even in death. that’s the first time we ever see him lose his composure, and it’s because she doesn’t lose hers. she just reminds him that the concept of mortality once applied to him too. and however much he seeks peace in death, he can’t seem to let go of what he has become in order to to find it.

RyuRoots: Just want Raubahn to kick him into the sun
Myra Witch: have Ilberd hold him still like he was a football
Myra Witch: and Raubahn just does a running start and fucking punts him over Ul’dah’s wall
Myra Witch: kicks him right in the ass too
RyuRoots: and then have one of the grunt brave recover him so Raubahn can victory spike him into the ground

prokopetz:

Just saying “I don’t watch TV” sounds pretentious, but there’s a big difference between “I don’t watch TV because I feel that the entertainment of the common masses is beneath me”, and “I don’t watch TV because I’m too busy marathoning YouTube videos of a guy 100% clearing Super Mario 64 without pressing the A button”.

theydonotbindus:

Hi, Anon. I’m sorry things are rough for you right now. 

I answered a similar ask that includes Prompto and Ignis here, so I’ll write for Noctis and Gladio here. 

Noctis thinks back to his time in Tenebrae and tries to emulate that for his S/O–quiet company, reading stories and bringing them food at first. Then he tries to get them out of the house if only for a little bit at a time. He tends to ignore his own feelings most of the time, so he’s not very likely to suggest therapy. 

Gladio understands depression can be physically painful. After a couple of rough days, he has his S/O get into a warm  shower with him and clean up, then he gets their favorite takeout. Over dinner, he asks them if they need therapy to get to a better place. Will make sure they accomplish one thing a day–bathing, tidying up, etc.. 

Asks temporarily closed until March 10, 2018.

whatsbrokencanbefixed:

beanie-betty:

whatsbrokencanbefixed:

beanie-betty:

whatsbrokencanbefixed:

beanie-betty:

whatsbrokencanbefixed:

My favourite Irish insult is “Go ndéana an diabhal dréimire de chnámh do dhroma ag piocadh úll i ngairdín Ifrinn!”

Translation?

I hope the devil uses your backbone as a ladder to pick apple’s in the garden of hell

Holy shit Ireland are you ok

There’s also one that directly translates to :

May your friends have a fine day – burying you

That’s metal as fuck

Cursing in Irish is like actually putting a curse on someone

mixed-martial-lee:

madamehearthwitch:

iwrotesomeofitdown:

africanaquarian:

africanaquarian:

so i guess activated charcoal lattes are the newest latte trend? for why? i hate to break it to y’all but unless you’ve ingested poison recently, activated charcoal has no real benefits. just stick to matcha [polyphenols/ antioxidants] and chai [antioxidants+anti-inflammatory]

also, if you’re on any important medications, and i know a lot of you are, don’t fucking drink these. charcoal doesn’t discriminate. it’ll render your meds useless and absorb them too as well as some other beneficial nutrients

^^^^ including hormonal birth control. Don’t fall for the charcoal bullshit. Stay safe.

We have definitely had this discussion before, but it’s worth having again.

And charcoal doesn’t just absorb meds. It just absorbs stuff. So all that healthy crap you added to your smoothie is just gonna get sucked right back up by the charcoal.

(yes I’m simplifying, no that does not make my warning useless)

Activated charcoal is really good for stopping boxing gloves and gym bags etc from smelling.

For the same reason you shouldn’t eat it lmao