shadow-schemer:

Sometimes Ardyn forgets he’s immortal

And he’s the Imperial Chancellor. He’s got to have LOADS of enemies.

There’s got to be assassination attempts. That always fail.

One foggy night in the speakeasy districts a sniper tags Ardyn in the head (and through his hat).

And Ardyn is like, “Oh I got shot. I should lay down and pretend to be dead. But in this gross dingy street where no one can see?!”

So he does a hardly discreet wobble, cries “Oh~! I’ve been shot~!” and flops on the sidewalk in front of one passerby.

The assassin is all “wtf was that”