Things Noctis says in his sleep.

chocobroness:

The stories that could be written….shame I can’t put those ideas into words.

——

Noctis: Need to find a replacement…

Prompto: for what?

Noctis: Gladio…

Gladio: Hey!

——

Noctis(age 6): mmmmm… I want pizza…

Regis: *chuckling*

Clarus: Of course he would.

Noctis: …And vodka.”

Regis: …

Clarus: …

Regis: Why do I feel like this is a message from the future?

—-

Noctis: Prompto!

Prompto: Hm?

Noctis: Fetch me my tiara!

Prompto: Sure! (Pause)…Wait.

—-

Noctis: Put it in a chocobo…

Prompto: Put What?

Noctis: If you do, it’ll make all your dreams come true.

Prompto: Put what in a chocobo.

—

Noctis: Thinking bout that tight….

Ignis: ….

Gladio: I’m concerned…?

Noctis: …Gladio’s ass.

Gladio: *chokes*

Ignis: Not as concerned as I am.

—-

Everyone: *Is sleeping*

Noctis: ….

Noctis: *sits up and screams*

Everyone: *wakes up screaming too*

Noctis: NO CARBUNCLE. I HATE PANNING THE CAKES. WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME PLAY THIS!?“

Ignis: What?

Noctis: …*lays back down*

Prompto: I think I hate him.

Gladio: You’re not the only one.

—-

Noctis: *mumbles* I forgive you Drautos for being Glauca.

Drautos: *spits out drink*

Regis: *wasn’t paying attention* What did he say this time?

Drautos: *under his breath* Something that makes me consider the benefits of killing him for.

—

Noctis: No, not the penis!!

Nyx: *snorts*

Noctis: Nyx, get your penis ready!!

Nyx: *makes a strange noise*

Gladio: What type of dreams is he having?!

—-

Regis: *sipping hot tea*

Noctis: Dad…I want to taste you.

Regis: *Spits tea into Clarus’ face*

Clarus: MOTHERFUC-

Noctis: Barbecue sauce on those…..

Regis: I really do NOT want to know what he’s dreaming of.

Clarus: *In agony* MY EYES.

—

(Noctis has very weird dreams.)