Snappy Comebacks – FFXV Style

mandakatt:

A/N: At work today I had someone say/do something that had me biting my lower lip so hard, but I know the boys wouldn’t be quiet if something was said to someone they cared about, so, this is the result. 

Someone degrades you – and before you get the chance to retaliate, the boys do it for you. 


Noctis: “Your ass must be jealous of all the shit that’s coming out of your mouth.”

Ignis: “Oh dear, I see that your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.”

Prompto: “Man, if you’re going to be two-faced, at least make sure one of them is good looking.”

Gladio: “I guess those penis enlargement pills are working, you’re twice the dick you were yesterday.”

Cor: “I like you, you remind me of when I was young and stupid.”

Dino: “I’m sorry I hurt your feelin’s when I called ya stupid. I really honestly thought ya already knew…”

Ravus: “I’m guessing you weren’t burdened with an overabundance of schooling.”

Clarus: “Oh, I’d agree with you, but then we’d both be wrong.”

Regis: “I see you’ve set aside this this special time to humiliate yourself in public.”

Nyx: “So, did it hurt when you fell from heaven, cause it looks like you landed on your face.”

Pelna: “If I had a face like yours, I’d sue my parents.”

Tredd: “You should introduce your upper lip to your lower lip sometime, and shut up.”

Luche: “So, the only way you’re getting laid is if you crawl up a chocobo’s ass and wait.”

Titus: “I’m not being rude. You’re just insignificant.”

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