Headcanons: The Bros as Roommates

thechocoboos:

I’m going off to college soon and was thinking about roommates, so this was born

Warnings: swearing of course

Noctis

• Noctis just showed up one day looking for a roommate
• You had no idea he was the Prince of Lucis, all you knew is he showed up with your ad and a wad of cash in hand (good enough for any broke person, right?)
• You didn’t even find out he was the fuckin prince until like… four, five months into it? When you did find out, you were more pissed than anything else cause that meant he totally had enough money to buy a new microwave when he accidentally blew the old one up
• He didn’t even tell you about him being a prince, you found out when his dad (the fucking goddamn King of Lucis) showed up one afternoon like “Hi I’m looking for my son” with the Shield of the King behind him
• Schools might not have showed pictures of the King’s son, but you damn well knew what the King looked like and seeing him at your apartment door when you were in your bum clothes was terrifying
• Noctis had a lot of explaining to do that night (after Regis and his shield, Clarus, joined you two for supper, of course)
• Overall tho, he was an alright roommate
• He didn’t bug you (in fact, he barely talked to you unless you initiated conversation or if he had to give you a heads up about some guests)
• And much like yourself (probably, if you’re on this hell hole of a websight), he was a bit of a night owl. Dude stayed up until 2 am at the earliest, and usually slept to noon (unless he had a prince thing to do)
• Your biggest two complaints? He constantly made messes and the boi had no fucking independence (you had to show this manchild how to do his own laundry ffs)
• Oh, he’d also use your hair products and shit, too (so make that three)
• Anyways, you’d come home after a long day of work and school and the damn apartment was a fucking mess like…? What the hell? There’d be overcooked mac n cheese on the coffee table, blankets and pillows all over the living room, crumbs everywhere…
• Turns out, it wasn’t just him making those messes
• One day, you showed up and there were just three other grown ass men in the room, roaring with laughter and playing poker with bags of chips all over the place and various drinks in their hands
• It was the first time you had ever met Noctis’ best friends (and it was not the last, either), and you were a lil pissed that they had been making so many messes
• Still, they were cool dudes and sometimes you’d play video games together
• In fact, the more you saw of Noctis’ friends, the closer to Noctis you became. It was thanks to his little blonde friend, Prompto
• Lil Prom always felt bad about the messes and noise, so he’d drag you into their fun and games (you both loved and hated him for that)
• ANyways
• The closer you became with Noct, the more you saw of his weird shadow, Ignis
• You’d get up in the morning, walk out into your living room in nothing more than your undies and a sheerish shirt, and there Mr. Scientia would be, chillin’ with a cookbook in hand while wearing his best clothes
• It was creepy; half the time it felt like you had a third roommate who didn’t pay rent
• He’d just… be there. Sometimes he’d nag Noctis, other times he’d cook (always made some for you, too), and occasionally, he’d just talk to you (you lowkey got a crush on him as this went on)
• Still, Noct was a great roommate at the end of the day, especially when you two became friends

Prompto

• You were the one to find his ad, this time around
• Saw a tiny ad on the craigslist of Insomnia and were just broke and desperate enough to take it
• You had prepared yourself for the worst, but when you met Prompto, you found all your worries were in vain
• He was the sweetest, most polite roommate you’d ever had (and probably would ever have, tbh)
• He pretty much lived around your schedule, he’d always ask if you had to be up early so he’d keep the noise down if need be and he was super conscientious of your schedules
• Boi was like a saint
• If anything broke, he’d fix it in a jiffy
• If anything needed replacing, he took care of it
• And guess what else? Prompto Argentum can cook. He’d make meals a good few times a week (usually in bulk so he could have leftovers and save stuff), and he would always, always make you some
• Honestly? If it wasn’t for Prompto’s cooking you’d probably have fed off of nothing but frozen food and stale chips
• He wasn’t a master chef or anything by far, but he had some basic knowledge of cooking and he used it regularly
• Sometimes you’d joke about having to marry him for that and he’d blush a bright tomato red every time (it was super cute, too)
• The boi also C L E A N E D
• To be fair, tho, he was also messy. Always making messes. BUT, he cleaned, which was more than you could ever ask for
• He’d clean up his messes, your messes, the messes of friends… Just, he was a clean boi.
• Once again, not super masterful at it, but he could clean pretty damn decently and you were not about to complain
• Fun fact: Prompto forgot about the existence of periods, so if you happen to be a female who gets periods, good fucking luck lmao
• Whenever you’d roll around in bed from the pain of cramps (or puking or crying or other such horrible things), he would absolutely panic
• And when he caught sight of a bloody tampon or pad? Or a lil bit of blood on the toilet? Oh god, he was a wreck. He ran into your room, eyes wide and worried, demanding to know if you were okay. Boi even offered to take you to a doctor
• Of course, when you told him that it was just your period, he was just embarrassed
• Much to his credit though, he would make sure that the kitchen was stocked with chocolates and that there was a heating pad for you to use (and some pain meds), so yeah, probably the best roommate in the world
• But the negatives?
• He liked to talk – a lot.
• You’d come home and if he was there, you bet your ass there was conversations to be had. Not a morning person? Too fucking bad. Prompto’s got some juicy convos to have with you at 8 AM
• It was cute, yes, but more annoying than anything else (as precious as he was, it was sometimes too much)
• Still, if you asked for a lil bit of quiet time, he would listen and back off immediately
• That went with any complaint, he always listened and changed his behavior accordingly
• And in saying that, if anything you did happened to bug him? He would bottle that shit up until he broke down crying
• You never really saw many of his friends, but you quickly picked up that he usually went to their places (you eventually found out that it was so they wouldn’t bug you, bless his lil considerate heart)
• The one friend you did see regularly was Noctis, and he was so chill that you usually barely noticed he was there (and when you guys did hang out, he was just as chill)
• Sometimes, Prompto would have breakdowns or anxiety attacks tho
• You weren’t always sure what to do, but you did your best to help him out or to comfort him (he appreciated it more than you ever knew)
• In the end, you guys became great friends that knew each other pretty damn well. You guys would always end up accommodating for the other person in your daily lives without ever realizing it
• Basically, you guys were G O A L S

Gladio

• Gladio was the one who answered the ad
• You were scared to death at first, but you had bills to pay and were desperate af
• You were surprised when he was moving in, a good half of his boxes were books and he had a whole box of scented candles (the man had good taste, too)
• Gladio was pretty gruff and he kept to himself for the most part
• However, if something was bugging him, you bet your ass he would bring it straight to you to talk things out, and he expected the same in return
• That was how he worked as a whole; he would do his best to make your life not shitty and expected the same from you
• It wasn’t hard to avoid bugging him; he was hardly ever home (you later found out it was his job as the Prince’s shield, which explained a shit ton of his life)
• Gladio noticeably left you and your shit alone, but eventually you two became closer (you probably bond over a book series or a TV show, things like that)
• You bet your ass that once you guys became close, he borrowed your shit, teased you a bit, and boundaries went out the fucking window
• He’d stolen more blankets than you even knew you had. There were times when he stole your hair brush or your shampoo, hell, he even started using your damn body wash (“That shit is fucking expensive, Gladio!”). You swear he even used your toothbrush once, but you could never prove it.
• Still, y’all were close (Noctis once made a comment about the sexual tension, but neither of you ever acknowledged it)
• Even tho Gladio intimidated you a shit ton in the beginning, when you two became comfortable around each other, his presence made you feel safer than anything else
• If a robber or a murderer tried to break in, he would handle it faster and smoother than anyone else
• Plus the creepy neighbor next door was too scared of Gladio to be weird towards you anymore (bless)
• His little sister showed up a lot, too
• You liked her so it was never a problem (in fact, you looked forward to her sudden visits). You always got a kick out of her nagging Gladio about his messy room or how he makes the apartment “smell like man”
• Anyways, when he actually graced the apartment with his presence, there would be a candle lit and a book in his hand. Sometimes, he’d have some chill music playing and it wasn’t uncommon for him to hog the bathtub for a solid hour
• Surprisingly, Gladio could cook. He didn’t do it often, but when he did, the apartment was full of delicious smelling spices and you could count on there being a great big steak waiting for you at dinner
• More often than not, he just helped himself to massive cup noodles tho (it got to a point where you were concerned for his health)
• You met his friends a few times, but it was usually in passing whenever Gladio had to grab something
• The friend you saw the most was Ignis; sometimes he and Gladio would be up late drinking in your shared apartment, but they were fairly quiet and respectful (minus Gladio’s loud laughter and Ignis’ mild chuckles when they got too tipsy)
• Despite seeing Ignis the most, you knew the most about Noctis simply from Gladio bitching about the shit Noct pulls with Prompto. Sometimes he’d just complain about his job, too, and through that you learned what kind of people his friends were and that was actually how you pieced together his job enough to get a proper response as to what he did with his time
• Sidenote: Gladdy was never great with technology
• You never, ever saw him watching TV or playing video games (unless it was with his other friends), and the few times you saw him on a laptop, it was a noticeably old model and he was grumbling about how he “couldn’t work the damn thing”
• More often than not, you had to help him out with technology troubles; he was pretty shit with computers and such (it was pretty comical at times)
• From there, you learned that he hated driving and didn’t even have a license. In fact, he just hated technology; the only reason he had a smartphone was because his job pretty much required it for communication purposes
• In summary: Gladdy was old fashioned and you didn’t trust him alone with your computer
• But yeah, you guys had a weird roommate relationship
• He was hardly there, but you guys got along surprisingly well and even had some “self-care days” together (it was your idea, but when you guys tried it, he found he liked it)

Ignis

• When he showed up, following up with the ad you put in the newspaper, you were pretty surprised like…
• Those designer shoes? The impeccable hair? High quality glasses? The man could probably afford the best apartment on his own, yet there he was, at your own front door (turns out, he chose your apartment due to its close proximity to the Citadel and Noct’s  apartment)
• When he actually was home, it was like he wasn’t there 
• In fact, half the time you were like “Sorry? Roommate? What roommate? I only know the mysterious check that appears in the kitchen that always pays half the rent!” (dude was home even less than Gladio and his apartment)
• The only way you knew he was actually in the apartment was when you could smell food being made or hear noise from the kitchen
• In the beginning, Ignis was strangely firm with boundaries. He never went in your room or messed with your stuff unless it was out in the open (hell, even when you two actually became friends he wouldn’t get in your business)
• You had to specifically tell him it was okay to go put your shit back in your room if he mentioned that you left something out
• And if you went into his room or touched his stuff without asking? Oooo boi, be prepared for some saltiness in the few exchanges you had with him
• The more you got to know Iggy, the saltier he was about things. Like if you purposefully did something to annoy him, he would be the most passive-aggressive person in the world
• Even so (especially in the beginning), Ignis was very forward with problems or annoyances. If anything was wrong, he’d call it in to be fixed and let you now right after. He’d also tell you if you needed to clean something or if your appearance was… lacking. The closer you two got, the more forward he was
• There were quite a few times when he’d tell you your room is a mess or that you look like a slob
• Still, it took quite a bit of time and effort to get there. He was hardly home, and when he was, he pointedly left you alone after a quick nod of acknowledgement
• In fact, he was usually doing work at the dining room table or actually sleeping for once, so if you wanted to talk with him, you’d have to initiate it
• As mentioned earlier, he did cook or bake when he was home. Usually, he was trying to master a recipe and always had you test out his food
• When you asked why, he merely told you that he had been exposed to the smell too long to viably give a proper response to its taste (in response, you told him he was a dork)
• The more you got to know him (over a painstaking year, might I add), the more of a dork he seemed to be (he totally is a dork, btw)
• At first, he had been uptight and mildly intimidating, but as time went on, you caught sight of the occasional fumble in his step, heard the dumb puns he said, and listened as he eagerly told you of one of the few hobbies he genuinely enjoyed
• He also grew fond of you, much to your own surprise
• He’d even make your favorite foods out of nowhere sometimes (he’d always say it was for practice, although you both knew the truth)
• Iggy kept his job surprisingly private, even when he would stay up late working on documents at the dining room table. It took a long time for you to find out he was actually the adviser to the Prince. In fact, Noctis had actually been over a good seven or eight times before you found out
• Still, even when you knew, Ignis never really told you what was going on in his job for the longest time. Part of you thought it was due to important secrecy, but when you asked, it turned out that Ignis didn’t want to burden you with anything (“Your life is rather stressful on its own, wouldn’t you agree?”)
• It took several different conversation to actually get him to talk about work for once, and when he did, it was mostly just complaints and salty bitching about certain employees or mistakes others have done (it was pretty funny, actually)
• Ignis never really had company over, either
• In the beginning you seriously doubted that he had any friends at all
• Despite how many times he told you that he had friends, you didn’t believe him until three of them showed up unannounced at the apartment at 11 AM on a Satuday, proclaiming that they were having a card game session whether “Specs wants to or not!”
• You never thought Ignis would be friends with guys like the other chocobros, but when you saw them interact, it seemed like it shouldn’t be anyone else at all
• In the end, even if Ignis wasn’t home a lot and even if you didn’t really know his friends too well, you guys did care about each other in a weird, subtle way. But hey, it worked