If the bros played ‘kiss, fuck, marry’, how would it go?

lhugbereth:

😂😂😂😂 Okay, in a pre-OT4 scenario this is even funnier!

~

Prompto, bored in the car, turns around to annoy Noctis: “Hey, dude. Let’s play ‘kiss, marry, fuck,’ you sta–”

Noct: “You, Specs, Gladio, in that order. Cake, baby.”

Prom, blushing: “Uuuhhh I never said WHO, but okay. Wait. Why wouldn’t you fuck me?”

Noct: “Have you /seen/ Gladio’s dick?”

Prom: “……Good point. How about you, big guy?”

Gladio: “This game is stupid, but whatever. Uh, Noct, Iggy, and I guess you.”

Prompto, blushing red hot, just turns around and sits back down in silence.

Noct: “Hey, you can’t pick Iggy, I already said I’d marry him.”

Gladio: “That’s not how the game works, dumbass.”

Ignis, adjusting his glasses: “Now, now, gentlemen. No need to fight over me.”

Noct: “Yeah, ‘cause it’s a no-brainer. You’d obviously chose royalty over a meathead.”

Ignis, scoffing: “Hardly. I would marry Prompto, actually.”

More blushing and whining from the passenger seat.

Gladio, leaning forward: “Okay, but you’d at least pick me to fuck, right?”

Ignis: “Apologies, but I chose Noctis.”

Noct, doing his best Kip impression: “Yessss!”

Ignis: “What about you, Prompto? You started this, it’s only fair you join in.”

Prompto, still red-faced and nervous: “I um. I can’t.”

Gladio: “Why not? Afraid you’ll hurt Princess’ feelings?”

Prompto: “No, not that. I just…can’t choose.”

Noct: “For which one? Kiss, marry, or fuck?”

Prompto: “A-all of them. I’d kiss, marry, and fuck all three of you. I-if I could….”

Gladio, slowly: “…Right. And if this wasn’t just a dumb game.…”

Ignis: “And if we weren’t all on this road trip. Alone together. Sharing one tent.…”

Noct, sitting up straighter: “Guys. I think I’ve got an idea.”

(Put it in the books, it’s history now)