triplehelix:

leave it to chance

“I roll to seduce Ignis.”

Gladio puts his head in his hands. “Ignis isn’t even a character, Noct.”

Noct frowns, squinting down at their figures while gently rolling his dice between his palms. “Okay. Well. I seduce Ignis’s character.”

“His name is Ifrit,” Ignis supplies helpfully.

“Great. Ifrit. Let me do it.”

With a long-suffering sigh, Gladio waves his hand towards Noct. “Fine. Roll for it. That’s a charisma check.”

Prompto grimaces as he looks over Noct’s shoulder. “Aw, buddy, roll high. Your charisma is shit.”

Admirably, Noct manages to flip Prompto off while still shaking his die with both hands. “I’m charismatic as fuck,” he says, and he lets the die skid across the table. It skips around, falling first on a 2, then an 18, and then hovers dangerously close to a 3. And then, miraculously, it rolls a final time, and the gold print 20 shines up from the middle of the table.

With a whoop, Prompto pumps his fist in the air. “Yes! Critical seduction!”

Noct grins at Ignis from across the table, stretching out his foot to tap at the side of his calf. To his credit, Ignis only blushes a little bit.

Gladio blinks. He looks like he’s aged about five years. “Well. Okay. You fucking win, then.”

Prompto slams his hands on the table. “What?” he cries. “But I wanted to fight! I have all these spells! Let me fight the final boss!”

“Ignis was the final boss,” Gladio groans, and he puts his head in his hands.

“Ifrit,” Ignis reminds him, smiling benignly down at his character sheet.

Gladio sinks down in his chair. “I’m never DMing for you guys ever again.”