Settlements of Skyrim

ch4rmsing:

A Travel Guide with pictures, compiled by freelance scribe and adventurer, Raelle Broken-Blade

DAWNSTAR

Hold Capital of ‘The Pale’ because everything around it is covered in snow. Has a small docking area so it can be accessed by ships that sail on the Sea of Ghosts. Other attractions are the Mythic Dawn museum and a creepy nightmare tower that plagues everyone’s dreams. The Jarl is old, senile, and needs to retire. Can Jarls do that? Or do they just die and death = retirement? I talked to the captain of that ship and I’m concerned for his safety, I hope his crew doesn’t murder him.

DRAGON’S BRIDGE

A small village in Haafingar on the road toward Solitude. It’s the home base of the Penitus Oculatus which sounds like a cult but are just a fancy evolved faction of the Blades and are supposed to guard the emperor. Spoiler alert: they don’t do a very good job. Contains a wood mill and inn but the only other thing of interest is the bad ass stone dragon head on the bridge that is it’s name sake, which is simple and deserves some more thought after a hit of skooma.

FALKREATH

This is the hold capital of the same name because Nords are unimaginative as fuck when it comes to naming places. I’d name this place the Emerald Ecstasy because if you drink skooma and wander around, it’s really green. Falkreath is the southern-most settlement in Skyrim but still cold enough to freeze the balls off a saber cat, especially at night. Falkreath has a morbid little shtick where they like to name their service establishments after dead  things and they actually boast having the largest cemetery in Skyrim. Maybe because everyone’s dying at your town’s bad puns. The Jarl is arrogant and gets a lot of flack for being too young for the job. The alternative is his paranoid uncle.

HELGEN

Located in East Falkreath…Oh. ehhhh. My bad, I guess this place caught on fire when a dragon appeared because I was going to get beheaded. I’d rather forget that chapter in my life. Moving on…

IVARSTEAD

A village in the Rift that lives in the shadow of the Throat of the World.  Lots of old Nordic tombs nearby, so everyone’s a bit jumpy about ghosts or Draugr coming out and harassing them. The log miller is like, the grumpiest lady I ever met and has a big grudge against bears. Well so do I, those motherfuckers just don’t stop coming at you in the Rift so her and I are kin now. They also have a hobo in this village.

KARTHWASTEN

The piddliest little nothing village that has no services in it; just mining, land disputes, and abductions. Don’t even bother with this town if you happen to stumble upon it in the north of the Reach. Can’t spell Karthwasten without ‘waste’ (of time.)

KYNESGROVE

This only counts as a settlement because it has an Inn. Otherwise it’s just a place miners hang out and drink. This place is so boring I don’t remember anything else besides it got attacked by a dragon ONCE and people still talk about it. I do, however like the name of this place a lot as Kyne is an OG Divine.

MARKARTH

Unfriendliest City in Skyrim and they aren’t even going to deny it. I’ve seen murders on these streets…multiple times. Go in and don’t trust anyone. What it lacks in the friendly social scene it makes up for in the geographical scene. Built atop an old Dwemer City, it’s one of the most beautiful and interesting cities in the aesthetic sense, so it makes sense that it contains the temple of Dibella inside its walls. There’s a Dwemer museum as well, chock full of artifacts for your browsing pleasure. Two Daedric princes hang around here waiting for an immoral, disgusting champion to stumble upon their quests. Probably because the city is so full of yucky people, including cannibals. The Jarl is pretty meh, and the city struggles with Forsworn drama and homelessness.

MORTHAL

It’s the Hold capital of Hjaalmarch, and this place gets a bad rap but it’s actually a very chill atmosphere. What could go wrong in a sleepy little town? Oh yeah. Vampires. Dead children. Of course. The people here really don’t like magic, so I advise against waltzing in and popping off magic tricks…sorry *illusions*. Tricks are something wenches do for skooma. The alchemist knows her shit, so if you have the coin and will, you can learn about alchemy too. The Jarl is chill and can see the future, I guess, but I wonder if she ever saw her town is THAL-MOR reversed? Conspiracy?  Probably, considering I have never seen any of those bastards marching along the roads around here. Probably don’t want to get their fancy Elf boots swampy.

RIFTEN

It’s the capital of the ‘Rift’. So, the Nords got a little more adventurous in their name game by adding two letters. I still think they should have knocked back some refined moon sugar and thought of more names. It’s a kind of skeezy town. You got the thieves guild, sewer-people, the Black-Briars, and a horrible abusive lady running an orphanage residing here; sometimes you just want to pass through without dealing with bullshit and drama but it’s unavoidable. I can’t go shopping without being harassed by a thieves guild recruiter. This place would literally be LIT if an open flame caught wind. Maybe don’t make all your buildings out of wood? Risky, considering dragons are around too and are basically flying lighters. Riften makes me feel…sticky, like I need to wash my hands after touching something, especially after visiting Haelga’s bunkhouse and it doesn’t help my feeling when the local real estate up for grabs is named ‘Honeyside.’ Riften is like the train wreck relationship you keep coming back to but it will never change. NEVER. At least the people over at the Temple of Mara try to make it better. The Jarl is kinda out of it but nice enough.

RIVERWOOD

It’s near a river. It has wood. Sensible, but still not imaginative, namelords. It’s a village in southern Whiterun Hold that doesn’t have much going on. It does have a mill, an inn, a smith, and a general goods store. Probably the best-equipped non-capital settlement in all of Skyrim. There’s a local love triangle if you feel the need to get into drama. I’ve decided it’s skooma-name is ‘Hell’ because while I was under the influence, a dog-spider came out of nowhere and scared the shit out of me.

RORICKSTEAD

A village on the western border of Whiterun hold, this charming little place makes commerce in growing food with two significant farms. It’s named after ‘Rorick’, an old soldier who bought this land after coming home from the Great War who still lives here and mumbles around. Not to be confused with ‘Old Rorickstead’ of Ragnar the Red fame–which who knows where the hell that place is? I’ve never run across it in my travels. Rorickstead has an Inn but that’s about it as far as services go. There has been rumors of daedra worship but nothing can be proven.

SHOR’S STONE

Another piddly little settlement, located in the northern Rift. This is named after the Nord’s old chief Deity and…a stone? Hey, it’s the most imaginative name yet! No Inn, but it does have a smithy. There’s also a mine…full of spiders but you can’t be picky out here in the Rift. There are two choices: bears or frost spiders.

SOLITUDE

Probably the most cosmopolitan of the Skyrim cities. It’s the Capital of Haafingar and lays across a natural stone arch. Beautiful. An old city with lots of history, it also has the largest shipping docks in Skyrim and houses a warehouse for the East Empire Company. Yes, it very much loves the empire, it even trains the Legion up in castle Dour. The Blue palace is where the High Kings and Queens of Skyrim usually reside. The High King is not currently in residence …well…because he died. Also, I hear not a good place for weddings. I can’t believe I’m suggesting this, but Riften is actually a better place for getting hitched. Jarl Elisif is filling in for now, she is fair, or so I am told. In both attractiveness and matters of justice. For the record, I like the name of this place as well.

WHITERUN

Oh we’re back to naming capitals the same names as holds? At least it’s not obvious WHY they call it that. I’ll have to search that piece of lore out at least. Nothing is very white in it, and I’m not sure where the ‘run’ part comes in, unless it’s running from Mikael’s flirting attempts. Whiterun is the bread and butter of Skyrim. It’s surrounding farms provide the greatest exports of food in Skyrim, keeping the denizens well fed. The city is clean, the citizens are for the most, part friendly–if not a little pompous (looking at you Nazeem) or off-putting (Belethor, stop trying to sell me your sister). Inside is legendary Mead Hall Jorvaskar and the Skyforge for the curious tourist, impressive steel and history. Check out the Temple of Kynareth if you need healing, they got the best healers! Also be sure to check out the statue of Talos, get an earful of Talos Gospel, sit in the shade of the Gildergreen, crane your neck back and take in Dragonsreach; the Jarl that lives there is Ballin’.

WINDHELM

Well fortified, it’s the capital city of Eastmarch. It is the only place in Skyrim with a public temple to Talos and also has a curiosities museum. Home to that rascally rebellious Ulfric Stormcloack, and a majority of the racism as evident by it’s Dark Elf segregated slums and total banishment of Argonians from the interior. I mean, even Riften, as sketchy as it is, let’s Argonians run businesses and take a load off inside the walls. They don’t let Khajit traders in either, but no city allows them in Skyrim which is a damn shame if you ask me. Windhelm is not a very charming place, it’s dank and cold, dreary-looking with no color, and hard to navigate. There’s apparently a murderer on the loose as well. I’d turn into a murderer too if I had to live in a place like Windhelm.

WINTERHOLD

And now we’re back to naming cities the same as the holds. If ever a place needed skooma, it’s Winterhold. Most of this place crashed into the sea of Ghosts during the Great Collapse. The Jarl can’t get over that fact and needs someone to blame, so the nearby Mage College gets a bad rap from most citizens. The only reason to visit though is because of the college. Stop biting the hand that feeds your puny tourism industry, Korir!