gigglincactus:

How Ardyn stole Crystmas

You’re a mean one, Mr. Ardyn
You really are a heel
You’re as cuddly as a cactuar, you’re as charming as a flan, Mr. Ardyn
You’re the man with a breath of malboro stew

You’re a monster, Mr. Ardyn
Your heart’s an empty hole
Your brain is full of hundlegs, you have a putrid purgy soul, Mr. Ardyn
I wouldn’t touch you with an anak calf being used as a pole

You’re a foul one, Mr. Ardyn
You have daemon goo in your smile
You have all the tender sweetness of a dreadful gargoyle, Mr. Ardyn
Given a choice between the two of you I’d take the dreadful gargoyle!

You’re a vile one, Mr. Ardyn
You’re a nasty wasty uncle
Your heart is full of salt and rocks, your soul is full of fungal, Mr. Ardyn
The three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote
“Drink, Drank, Drunk”!

You’re a rotter, Mr. Ardyn
You’re the king of sinful thots sots
Your hair’s a dead tomato splotched with moldy purple spots, Mr. Ardyn
Your soul is a foul place overflowing with the most unimaginable
Joinment of hate and power mangled up inside your thoughts!