Love your creative insults,how do you come up with them?

destiny-islanders:

Step One: Think of a random object

Step Two: Think of a less-than-ideal condition for that object to be in

Examples:

1. You glass of congealed prune juice
2. You mildew-covered garden gnome
3. You broken tape dispenser

I usually try to keep them short and sweet, but occasionally it’s fun to sprinkle in a ridiculously long one. The more specific, the better. Draw on all of life’s disappointments and atrocities

Examples:

1. You’re literally the human equivalent of biting into a chocolate chip cookie only to find out it’s oatmeal raisin
2. You sticky rubber ball lodged at the bottom of a foreclosed Chuck E Cheese Play Palace
3. You plastic spork with tines too short to use to properly eat a plate of spaghetti